Tag Archives: writing advice

advice, editorial

Joe Wallace’s Top Ten Rules of Writing

Egotistical of me to put my own name in the headline, I know, but I’m competing with Robert’s Rules of Order and Strunk & White here, so why not? This is my current top ten of the moment–many of which I’ve been doling out to people who I edit or mentor in the craft. Rest assured, I break at least two of these in this very blog post, but then again, I am not submitting this to an editor for money.

10. For informal writing like advice columns, blogging or CD reviews, write like you talk–unless you talk like an idiot.

9. Never use a word you don’t fully understand. Do you KNOW what “avuncular” means? Or the actual meaning of the word “hopefully”? Look it up first.

8. If you don’t know specifically when it is appropriate to use an apostrophe, DON’T. Spell out “it is” and “there is” instead.

7. If you don’t know the difference between “they’re”, “their”, and “there”, quit writing until you do. You’re making an idiot out of yourself.

6. If you refuse to write “modicum” when “a small amount” will do, GOOD FOR YOU.

5. Never use jargon if you don’t understand the full meaning. What is the difference between an aircraft, an airframe or an air platform? Don’t know? Don’t use it.

4. The Pentagon cannot “say” ANYTHING. Neither can Isreal, Boeing, or the Clinton campaign. A spokesperson for any or all of these entities can say whatever he or she likes.

3. There is no such thing as a life-giving shooting spree, so why write about a “deadly” one?

2. Cut the crap. You don’t need to write “Well, let me tell you..” or “I bet there’s something you didn’t know” when “Let me tell you” and “There’s something you didn’t know” will do. Forget all “will be” and “going to” phrases. Just say what’s about to happen.

1. Read your work out loud before you declare it finished. You’ll discover that draft is NOT finished.

editorial

Top Five Signs of a “Bad” Freelance Writing Site

Beware: highly opinionated writing ahead.

Experienced freelance writers already know what kinds of crap passes for “writing-related websites” on the net…over time you’ll find everything; out-and-out scams, hilarious ineptitude, raging egos (that would be me) and brilliant insights. Newcomers to this writing life will learn soon enough. It can be quite frustrating online, especially when you are trying to soak up information on the writing game and learn all you can to get your foot in the door.

New freelancers are often tempted to start writing-related websites. Here’s a little secret that no other writing site that I know of has (so far) shared–many (not all) experienced writers can tell the difference between a noob writing site trying to pass itself off as “one of the pros” and an honest-to-god experienced writer sharing the benefit of his or her experience. We appreciate people who don’t try to pass themselves off as something they are not–newcomers who admit this up front are far more likely to get a good reaction from a weathered ole hack like me. Try to pull the wool over the eyes of someone knows better and you deserve whatever flames you may get.

For those of us in the know, the symptoms are impossible to miss. They stick out like a sore thumb. Scratch that–they stick out like a sore thumb badly infected with gangrene in dire need of being lopped off. Lately I’ve seen my share, and I suppose it’s irked me a bit. More than a bit.

I know some of my friends will ask why I am wasting my time writing this. One of my stated policies is that I don’t spend valuable time railing against “stuff that sucks”, especially when there are so many GOOD sites out there to talk about. In this case I make an exception because I’m not addressing any one site in particular (why bother) and because I just wasted a good deal of time looking through a site I thought held promise. I was disappointed to see that it was just full of crap. It is frustrating to waste valuable time on nonsense, and now I vent my spleen for you. Will it actually HELP you? Read my top five signs of a bad writing site and judge for yourself. Continue reading Top Five Signs of a “Bad” Freelance Writing Site →

advice, editorial

Confessions of an Editor: The Eternal Evil Of Adverbs & Adjectives

Before I start this screed, let me confess that I’m as guilty as anyone of using adverbs and adjectives. Usually when I am hyper-caffeinated, I find myself pouring them onto the page at a rate that would make you weep. So I don’t write this to say, “Be like me–I’m just as cool as they come!”. Rather, I write this to remind MYSELF not to do these things, and you too–one day you’ll send some copy my way and we’d both prefer to avoid the unpleasantness which is sure to come if your work is rife with adverbs and other nonsense.

To begin, let’s define adverbs and adjectives. The Capital Community College grammar page is most helpful here–refer to it often. I love the short-and-sweet definition found on that page. Adverbs are words that modify a verb, adjective or another adverb. Adjectives modify nouns and pronouns.

What the page doesn’t say is that in many cases, adverbs and adjectives are STUPID and POINTLESS. Consider that last line, for example. It may be informative to say adverbs are pointless, but STUPID? That’s me getting wordy again. It would be more accurate to say adverbs and adjectives are often needless words.

Clear, concise writing demands brevity. If you feel the need for more descriptive prose, consider this line from James Ellroy’s The Cold Six Thousand;

“He walked. He grabbed at the cell bars. He anchored himself.”

That pretty much says it all, doesn’t it? We don’t need to know what happened next. This line tells us everything. He’s trapped in jail and getting ready for something to happen. Now let’s read this as it would be submitted by some writers you probably know;

“He walked quickly and grabbed at the cell bars. He braced himself nervously.”

The power of the line vanishes. Let’s look at another one.

“Jimmy took a painful blow to the face. He staggered drunkenly down the corridor, arms flailing wildly.”

Now when we cut out all the crap: Continue reading Confessions of an Editor: The Eternal Evil Of Adverbs & Adjectives →

advice

Five Ways to Quickly Improve Your Writing

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How would you like to make a LOT more money from your writing? Let’s face it, you can put together a slam-bang query, get the editor’s attention and land the gig; if what you turn in doesn’t live up to the hype, you’re dead in the water with that editor for another assignment. Good freelancers are the ones who learn the value of establishing a relationship with your editor. The only way to do that is to get past the first assignment with a new publication. Editors hate nothing more than the writer who presents well because of a an agonized-over query letter, but didn’t live up to the promise with the completed article. You might not think you’re guilty, but if you aren’t doing at least two of these five steps, you could be cheating yourself out of more money.

Here are five ways you can attack your writing to make your editor appreciate your work:

1. Read Strunk and White before starting a new article. The eternal one-liner “Omit needless words” is only a single nugget of genius–The Elements of Style has the power to change your writing style in ways you can’t even imagine. Read the section on misused words and phrases and watch your copy change practically overnight.

2. Scour your copy for “garbage words”. Garbage words include therefore, occasionally, and so forth, hopefully, and extremely. We know the crash was horrific. It’s overkill to say “extremely horrific”. Strong writing does not need these things. I just heard a character on a television show say someone was “extremely dead,” and if you REALLY need an explanation why that is poor writing (when said without irony), I suggest you go back to Strunk & White and read some more.

3. Omit statements when questions are more concise. Let’s consider the dilemma of the radio advertising writer. Here is someone who needs to convey a large amount of information, but only has 30 seconds to do it. Instead of writing “People looking for used automobiles should check out Uncle Harry’s Used Car Lot,” a good radio ad will ask “Are you looking for a used car? Try Harry’s Used Car Lot”. To put this in article context, consider the following statement: “20 million consumers purchased at least two handguns in 2002 because of fears over high profile crimes such as murder and bank robberies.” Continue reading Five Ways to Quickly Improve Your Writing →

reading

Sell Your Book on Amazon.com

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sell-your-book-on-amazon.jpgBrett Sampson tells all. This book is about how to get listed on Amazon, how to promote your book and increase sales. We borrow a quote from Sampson’s Sell Your Book on Amazon product page:

“Penny C. Sansevieri of Author Marketing Experts says, “Finally! A book that helps you demystify Amazon. If you have a book to sell, you simply must own Sell Your Book on Amazon.”

The marketing copy for this also claims to help you “beat Amazon at their own game”, and learn how to create “virtuous circles” (as opposed to vicious cycles, I’m guessing). While I’m no fan of breathless marketing hyperbole, I have to say that any book which helps a writer properly value their work and assign a reasonable price should be worth a read. Sell Your Book on Amazon has all the right chapters, and according to the author himself, this does NOT tell you how to get on the bestseller list. Instead, it offers strategies to help your book do well over the long term. If you’re a believer in Chris Anderson’s Long Tail concept, this book should appeal.

In short, not a bad way to spend $14.95 if you have a book ready for the world, or very nearly so.

Sell Your Book on Amazon sells for $14.95

advice

Kicking the Passive Voice Habit

One of my all-time pet peeves? The kiss of death in a cover letter to an editor? OK, the kiss of death in a cover letter to THIS editor? Passive voice sentence construction. We all do it, and this website has just as many guilty passages as anyone, so I can’t blindly accuse other writers of being dorks without putting on a dunce cap myself. No, TWO dunce caps.

Fortunately, there are plenty of helpful online resources to help you cut the crap in your writing. Some writers begin this conversation by saying “WTF is passive voice?” I pass along this excellent site from the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill. It’s a great place to get your education, and my favorite part of this site is the list of myths about passive voice. It’s actually permissable to use in certain instances, but most writers (me) who fall into the passive voice trap do so in the most glaring of ways–all addressed with suggestions on alternatives.

GetItWrite Online provides a generous helping of hints and advice with many more examples of flagrant passive voice sentences. I love this site for the free info, but the most recent writing tip is from 2006. Too bad, as I’d love to keep going back there on a regular basis.

Freelance-Zone.com nothing whatsoever to do with English-Zone.com but the handy passive voice chart is pretty cool and I wish I had thought if it first.

You’ll get quite an education on passive voice between these three sites. Please pass them along to the next person who writes an inter-office memo stating “The meeting will be held at two o’clock.”