The Rewards of Doing Nothing

by Mike O’Mary

More than 20 years ago, Marsha Sinetar wrote a book called Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow. It’s a nice idea, but I’m not sure the premise bears out. Perhaps it worked for the author—assuming, of course, that she “loved” writing a how-to book and making lots of money. But what if you “love” hanging out at coffee shops or eating donuts or taking long naps in the afternoon? It’s hard to see how the money is going to follow you to any of those places.

Or what if you love something but aren’t very good at it? I know lots of people who play golf, for instance, but most of them could never make a living at it. But then again, making a living at golf doesn’t necessarily have to mean making millions of dollars on the professional tour. Every course in the country has a golf pro or two or three to run the pro shop and give lessons. There are also people who sell equipment and organize tournaments and arrange trips for people who want to go to Myrtle Beach or Hilton Head for a golfing vacation. So I suppose you could stretch things a bit to say those people are all doing things that they love—although you don’t have to stray too far from the main subject before it starts to sound less like something you love and more like work.

So in the end, I guess I don’t buy the notion that you can do what you love and the money will follow. I think it’s usually the other way around: You usually end up paying money in order to do what you love. So I think I’m going to write a book called How to Find Out Where the Money Is and Do Something to Get It So You Can Turn Around and Spend It to Do Things You Love. But that’s a pretty long title and writing it sounds like a lot of work. Maybe the best thing is to just forget about the money altogether. You don’t need that much to hang out at a coffee shop anyway.

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, a book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 14 topics, including an anthology titled “Cubicle Stories: Life in the Modern Workplace.”

Overselling/Underselling Yourself

By Amanda Connor

I have been caught in this web of imbalance before. It is as easy to oversell yourself as it is to undersell yourself to a prospective client.

On days when I’ve felt terribly confident in my abilities and perhaps caught a really inspirational Lifetime movie that hammered home the idea that “I can do ANYTHING I put my mind to,” I may have taken on a project that was clearly over my head, and later lived to regret doing so.  On other days, when I’ve felt overwhelmed or exhausted, I haven’t taken the time to really sell my abilities and I’ve missed out on some great writing opportunities.

The only answer to finding this perfect balance of appropriately selling your abilities is to take the time to really evaluate your own work and to give yourself room for introspection.

Questions to ask yourself to prevent overselling:

1. If this project sounds challenging, am I genuinely interested in the subject matter?

2. Do I have the energy and drive to put into taking on a project like this?

3. Will taking on a challenging project like this boost my knowledge/skill set for future projects? Will this increase my value as a writer?

4. What’s my motivation: the subject matter or the paycheck?

Questions to ask yourself to prevent underselling:

1. What other projects have I worked on that are most worth mentioning? Highlight these projects. Now is not the time to be modest.

2. If I’m not giving this pitch my all, why not? Fatigue? Burn out? Stress? Lack of interest in the project?

3. Am I being too timid about my abilities? Focus on the most difficult project you have taken on to date and ask yourself: Am I capable of producing even better/more challenging work?

Whether you suspect you are underselling your abilities, or you are coming down from the high of another great project and feel like you can take on the world, save yourself the frustration of a botched opportunity by remaining grounded in where you stand, as well as remaining focused on each new step in your writing career.

Everything I Never Wanted to Be

by Mike O’Mary

I am very pleased and proud to announce that pre-release copies of Everything I Never Wanted to Be by Dina Kucera are now available from Dream of Things. The book will be available at bookstores everywhere on October 1, but you can get your copy now by visiting www.everythinginever.com.

Everything I Never Wanted to Be is the true story of one family’s battles with alcoholism and drug addiction over four generations—as told from the unique perspective of a grocery store clerk with a ninth grade education who is trying to make it as a stand-up comic. To learn more about this amazing memoir – including excerpts, info about the author, and an early review from publisher and movie producer Mark Shelmerdine – visit www.everythinginever.com.

I also think it’s interesting and important to note that Dina’s memoir was rejected by 74 agents and publishers before it was published. It finally found a home after Dina posted excerpts on her blog and someone (yours truly) read it and fell in love with it. For more details about Dina’s path to publication, click here.

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, a book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 14 topics, including an anthology titled “Advice You’d Like to Pass on to Others.”

Two Quotes

by Mike O’Mary

I have two quotes for you today. The first is from Maurice Sendak, the award-winning author of many children’s books, who once made the pointed observation that, “There must be more to life than having everything.” Unfortunately, he didn’t say what more there must be.

I used to subscribe to a newsletter called “The Meaning of Life.” Although it had the same title as the Monty Python movie, it was not a humorous newsletter. It was a serious attempt by a University of Chicago professor of philosophy to help people find and examine the things that add meaning to their lives.

At various times, the newsletter examined various traits and values that can help bring meaning to your life. Things like integrity, enthusiasm, honesty and spontaneity, among others.

Those are all things that we strive for in our lives. But it’s important to realize that those things are intertwined. You can’t have enthusiasm without integrity, for example, or spontaneity without honesty.

Those thoughts are not my own. I didn’t make the connection until I came across the following quote from Robert Schuller: “Integrity makes enthusiasm possible. Only honest people are subconsciously liberated to be totally spontaneous. Without that quality, enthusiasm is contrived and not an authentic motivating factor in life.”

If you want to have enthusiasm and be spontaneous, you have to be honest and have integrity. There are no shortcuts. And if you want to do more than “have everything,” you must aspire to “be” something. Being honest and having integrity is a pretty good place to start.

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, a book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 14 topics, including an anthology titled “Advice You’d Like to Pass on to Others.”

How to Write a Smashing E-Mail: Part Six

Use a size 12 font, especially when writing to anyone over the age of 40. You don’t want people squinting in order to decipher your text. If you know your recipient well and that person uses a size 10, it’s fine to reply in the same fashion. But size 12 is standard and you can be assured that most people will be able to read it without any difficulty.

And try not to be cutesy unless you’re writing to your best friend. Stay away from font colors like pink and purple. The easiest font to read is black. Emoticons are individual. Some people use them all the time and others never use them. By and large, you don’t want to include emoticons in work-related notes; the same is true for acronyms like LOL or ROFL. Exceptions can always be made when you know your colleague or your boss well, and the situation seems to warrant a funny face.

Sigrid Macdonald is a book coach, an editor, and the author of three books, including the newly released Be Your Own Editor, available on Lulu or on Amazon in paperback, and on Kindle.

One Man’s Deliverable is Another Man’s Takeaway

by Mike O’Mary

In the past, I’ve occasionally talked about how to get ahead in the workplace. I’ve also talked about the preponderance of clichés and buzzwords in the business world. So you can imagine my feelings of horror when I recently sat in on a meeting and heard people talking about “takeaways” and “deliverables.”

When it comes to buzzwords, I have one simple question: Talk to me in English!

Okay, that wasn’t a question. But can somebody explain to me why people are using the word “takeaway” when what they really mean is that they learned something useful? Or why people use the word “deliverable” when what they are really referring to is a product or a report?

You can talk about takeaways and deliverables if you want, but it would be a whole lot easier on the rest of us if you simply had the words “Recent MBA grad” tattooed on your forehead.

Life used to be so simple. I had an “in” basket and I had an “out” basket. In order to keep up with the times, I relabeled my baskets to say “takeaways” and “deliverables.” But that just seemed to confuse people. I was constantly finding deliverables in my takeaway basket and vice versa. To me, that was the real test. The buzzwords fell short. So I went back to the old in and out. Seems to work fine.

I still use the terms deliverable and takeaway though. “Deliverable” as in “I’d like a pepperoni pizza—and make that deliverable.” And “takeaway” as in “If Dick has three things in his in box and Jane takes away two, can Dick leave early and pick up the pizza on his way home?”

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, a book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 14 topics, including an anthology titled “Cubicle Stories: Life in the Modern Workplace.”

How to Get Ahead at the Office: Part Two

by Mike O’Mary

Note: This is Part Two in a series of sporadic commentaries on how to get ahead at the office. These tips may not directly apply to your career as a freelancer, but if you have corporate clients, it’s important to understand life on the inside.

Two weeks ago, I talked about working your way up the corporate ladder by attending lots of meetings. The key is to hang around just as meetings are beginning and don’t leave unless someone specifically tells you to.

But getting inside the meeting room isn’t enough. If you really want to get ahead, you’ll have to express “opinions” and “ideas.” New ideas can be pretty scary to some people, so I recommend sticking to opinions.

The first thing to remember is that no matter what topic is being discussed or how little you know about it, it is very important for you to voice your opinion. In the meeting room, it’s quantity, not quality, that counts. It doesn’t even matter if you express a series of opinions or just the same opinion over and over again. The important thing is to be heard — otherwise nobody will ever benefit from your unique experiences and observations.

If possible, try to monopolize the floor during the early part of a meeting. Use a loud voice to keep everyone’s attention, and don’t be shy about talking over others if they try to interrupt you.

If you happen to be at a meeting where somebody actually comes up with an idea, don’t be afraid. Instead, reflect for a moment, then say something like, “I think Jim’s idea might be worth exploring.” Jim will appreciate the support, and you will have taken a step toward establishing yourself as an authority figure.

Finally, as the meeting begins to wind down, it’s time to let other people talk. People like to hear their own voices, so if you let them talk, they’ll leave the meeting with a good feeling. The best part is, you don’t even have to listen. You’ve already given your opinions — and lots of them. So sit back and have another donut. You’ve earned it.

Next time: Part Three on how to get ahead at the office.

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, a book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 15 topics, including an anthology titled “Cubicle Stories: Life in the Modern Workplace.”

Playing the Numbers Game at Work

by Mike O’Mary

I used to work at a company where people were very conscious of job levels. After a big meeting of top company managers, one of my coworkers approached me: “Hey, Mike,” he said. “I didn’t know you were a nine.” Before I could inform him that I was not a nine, he continued in a hushed tone: “A bunch of us nines are getting together after work for pizza and beer tomorrow. Don’t tell any sevens or eights.” Then he hurried off.

I suppose most companies have some internal method of ranking various job classifications. At that particular company, you climbed the ladder from level one to level two to three, on up. It was sort of like Donkey Kong. How high can you get?

I don’t know how far the numbering system went, but reaching level nine held special significance. They didn’t give you a key to the executive washroom or anything like that. (That would have been silly–especially since there was already an armed guard at the washroom entrance and you had to show two picture I.D.s to get in. I showed my library card and prom picture.) But being a level nine did have its advantages. For one thing, it meant you got to go to big meetings of top company managers. You also got an assigned parking space, a slightly larger cubicle and a free annual physical. I think being a nine also meant that you are allowed to use the two-ply toilet paper. And, of course, nines were allowed to punch sevens at will.

I didn’t get a chance to tell my coworker that I was not a nine. I was at the big meeting of top company managers because it was part of my job to report to other employees what happened at such meetings. I was on hand to listen and learn–and to change the light bulb in the slide projector if necessary.

Obviously, my coworker had taken my presence at the big meeting to mean that I, too, had a reserved parking place and an unchafed bum. Apparently, I could have passed myself off as a nine if I had really wanted to. At least nobody tried to hit me at the meeting. But I decided not to push my luck, so I skipped the pizza and beer that night. Besides, I had some fives to beat up.

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, an independent book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 15 topics, including an anthology titled “Cubicle Stories: Life in the Modern Workplace.”

Delaying the Battle Against Procrastination

by Mike O’Mary

Like a lot of people, I tend to procrastinate:

• It took me five years to complete a two-year graduate program.
• When I first started working, the stock market was at 800. (Yes, I know…that was a long time ago.) I finally got in at around 8,000 — right before the dot.com crash earlier this decade. (Hmmm…maybe I rushed things there.)
• I’ve put off buying a new life insurance policy for over a year now because I know I’ll get a better rate as soon as I lose a little weight — which should happen pretty fast once I start exercising.
• And I’m on track to die with more unwritten novels than any other writer in history.

It’s easy to say, “I’ve got too much to do,” but there’s usually more to it than that. For some, it’s fear of failure. For others, fear of success. Sometimes it’s a control thing. Sometimes, we procrastinate because we’ve never really made up our minds on the big issues…things like “What I want to do with my life.”

Oprah Winfrey once interviewed the late Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled and other books. She noted that he was a prolific writer, traveled all over the country giving lectures, maintained a psychotherapy practice, and still managed to spend time with his family.

“How do you find the time to do all of this?” Oprah asked.

“I spend two hours a day thinking about what is important in my life and what is not,” said Peck. “I tell people I am praying so they will not interrupt. I do not spend any time on activities that are not important to my life. And, I don’t watch your show.”

I like that answer so much, I think I’ll give it a try. But it will have to wait til tomorrow. I’ve got too much to do today.

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, an independent book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 15 topics, including an anthology titled “Advice You’d Like to Pass on to Others.”

Social Media ist das Opium des Volkes

by Mike O’Mary

Okay, so maybe Karl Marx was talking about religion instead of social media when he tagged an institution as “the opiate of the people.” But if Karl were alive today, I don’t think he’d argue with calling social media an opiate. Speaking for myself, I swore off television years ago only to end up spending those newfound hours in front of the computer every day. Sucked in again!

How much time do you spend on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, LinkedIn, Classmates, YouTube, Flickr, Google Buzz, Bebo, Flixster, MyLife, etc., etc.? And I’m not even talking about the time you spend checking your e-mail accounts, blogs, bank/brokerage accounts, shopping, travel, and all that other “essential” stuff. Talk about a huge time suck.

To be clear, social media is pretty amazing. You have hundreds — sometimes thousands — of personal and business connections at your fingertips. This simply was not possible ten years ago. Old college friends were just that…old college friends. Maybe you saw them at your 10th or 20th or 50th reunion. Now you can see them every day. Perhaps all you learn is that they spend oodles of time fertilizing eggplant in FarmVille. But hey, you’ll have something to talk about at the next reunion, right? (”Hey, Greg…how’d that degree in library science turn out? Oh. Sorry. Nice eggplant farm though.”)

I started to say that social media is pretty amazing. And that it has its place. It’s helped me spread the word about my new book publishing business faster and cheaper and to a broader audience than I could have done with traditional PR or marketing. And I’ve made some new friends along the way. It’s been great. But I really did get sucked in. Here’s what happened: I was spending LOTS of time each day trying to keep up with all of my social media accounts, and then staying up very late at night doing all the other things that are traditionally associated with book publishing. That had to stop. My job is editing and publishing. My job is not social media gadfly — no matter how entertaining, compelling or (dare I say it) ADDICTING social media might be.

Here is a longer version of the famous Karl Marx quote. Again, I have substituted “social media” for “religion”:
[Social media] is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.

It’s your life. Don’t live it all virtually.

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, an independent book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 15 topics.

How Does Your Customer Service Stack Up?

by Mike O’Mary

When they talk about a service economy, they don’t necessarily mean good service.

I recently came across some examples of customer service that indicate to me that if we are becoming more and more a service economy, we may be in serious trouble.

For example, I went to a fast food establishment and approached the counter. There were several cash registers spaced out across the length of the counter, and I stopped at the first one I came to. It wasn’t a busy time. As a matter of fact, I was the only customer in the place. There was one cashier behind the counter. After a few moments, the cashier approached me and asked if I had been waited on. I said no, at which point the cashier walked all the way to the register at the far end of the counter and pronounced, to no one in particular, “Can I help someone?” No wonder there was no one else in the place.

I wasn’t too surprised to receive that kind of service from adolescent counter help at a fast food place, but I was surprised to hear about the owner of a local restaurant who treats his customers well when they’re patronizing his establishment, but doesn’t extend the same courtesy to them elsewhere. In this case, the restaurant owner apparently had a problem with his bank statement. He took the statement to the bank, threw it on the desk of a bank employee, and started berating the employee. The mistake wasn’t the employee’s fault, and she did everything she could to help, but that didn’t seem to matter. What the restaurant owner neglected to consider was the fact that the bank employee, her parents and some of her friends–including me–were all patrons of his restaurant. Now, none of us are.

When it comes to customer service, the old adage applies: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Endeavor to treat EVERYBODY as your customer or prospective customer. That adolescent kid at the fast food place might need a freelancer some day.

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, an independent book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 15 topics.

The End is Near

by Mike O’Mary

The universe is about 10 billion years old. A few years ago, two astrophysicists predicted that the stars will start to die en masse in about 5 billion years, and in 20 or 30 billion years, our own sun is expected to die. After that, black holes will take over, swallowing up everything over the next 60 billion years. The universe will be totally black.

No wonder I feel like driving right by the office some mornings.

Another group of scientists recently claimed to have found “proof positive” of a massive asteroid that destroyed nearly all life on earth–including the dinosaurs–65 million years ago. Incredibly, new species began appearing only 5,000 years later, and eventually, human beings evolved. It’s nice to know that if life were wiped out tomorrow by another big asteroid, it would only be another 50 million years or so before America would once again be teeming with discount stores and fast food chains.

Hearing about the ultimate fate of the universe and the havoc that a single falling rock can cause can make it difficult to go on with your daily routine. At the same time, such scientific discoveries help put everything else in perspective. So some morning when there are no asteroids in the forecast and when the sun looks like it will shine forever, have a hot cup of coffee and ask yourself, “Why am I here?” and “What am I doing with my life?” The answers aren’t always easy to come by, but you’ve only got a few billion years and you owe it to yourself to contemplate the questions.

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, an independent book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 15 topics.

John Updike’s Writing Wisdom (part II): Write Daily, Read What Excites You

by Erin Dalpini

Want to be happy? Do something every day, so says Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, a bestselling book and popular blog.

It sounds pretty mundane, but according to Rubin, it works, and it can apply to any sort of habit—making the bed, working out, doing the dishes—do it every day and you might find “pleasure in the routine.” Getting into a daily habit, I think, is is a great way to keep from procrastinating doing something you know is good for you, but is hard to start doing–like flossing. Or in my case, writing. And writing query letters.

You see, I have a day job, which is actually writing-based, but outside of that job I find it sometimes incredibly difficult to motivate myself to get to work on a new project or, heaven forbid, just do some good old-fashioned free-writing or journaling.

In fact, inspired by Rubin, one of my New Year’s resolutions was to write daily.

Um . . . it’s March right? Still working on that.

… Continue Reading

Becoming a Writer

by Mike O’Mary

I am editing a book about creative writing. I’m very excited about it. It’s more of a “why” write, rather than a “how” to write. But in the process of talking about why write, the author sheds a lot of light on how to write, as well. I think it’s going to be a great book. I’ll tell you more about it as we get closer to publication later this year.

For now, I want to tell you about another book about writing. Editing this current manuscript prompted me to refer back to one of the first books I read about writing: Becoming a Writer by Dorothea Brande. If you are familiar with Brande’s book, you know the story…written in the 1930s by a woman whose teaching techniques incorporated right-brain thinking and transcendental meditation long before those concepts were popular…long before there were even names for those things! The book went out of print, but was brought back to life and light in 1981 with an introduction by John Gardner. The book is a treasure.

I said earlier that the book I am currently editing isn’t about how to write; it’s about why we write. Similarly, Becoming a Writer isn’t about how to write; it’s about how to be a writer. It’s very inspiring. If you’re not familiar with it, give it a read.

Another great book about writing is The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. But more on that book another day. In the meantime, I’m curious: what books do you turn to for inspiration or instruction or motivation when it comes to your writing?

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, an independent book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 15 topics.

Avoiding the Paper Bin

by Mike O’Mary

Dream of Things has a Fan Page on Facebook, and a while back, somebody left a message for me on the Dream of Things wall: “Ever time try write storys use go in paper bin because stoys not at good.”

At first, I didn’t know what to say. But I thought about it, and then I wrote back: “I think I understand. I have days like that, too.”

Actually, I have a lot of days like that, and recently I kind of hit a wall. Which is why this post is about taking care of yourself and making sure you get plenty of rest and relaxation.

I hit a wall mentally and physically after four months of working 70-80 hours a week. I launched a new publishing company and online bookstore, published two books, started soliciting submissions for 15 anthologies of creative nonfiction, recruited and retained seven editors to edit those 15 anthologies, started contributing to The Freelance Zone, and began editing two book-length manuscripts. And that was in my spare time because I also have a day job. This past weekend, I couldn’t think any more. So I took the weekend off. I went for a walk on Saturday, then spent the afternoon cleaning out my closets, trying on old pants (I had somehow accummulated about 40 pairs of pants) and setting aside anything that didn’t fit for donation to charity. Then Sunday afternoon, I went to the Green Mill in Chicago for some live jazz and to celebrate my girlfriend’s birthday. It was a much-needed break.

When I was freelancing, one of the things I found most challenging was battling the feeling that I could never completely relax. I always felt I needed to be looking for the next assignment, and I never told a client “no” because I never knew when the client might call again. But relaxation is critical to your well-being. Otherwise, it is very difficult to do the very demanding work of writing and editing. So turn off that laptop, put on some music and try on some pants (or try on whatever you like to try on to relax), and live today so you can write again tomorrow.

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, an independent book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 15 topics.