Try This: Write a Greeting Card

Happy birthday! Although it’s more likely in this digital era that you’ll receive Facebook posts and texts acknowledging your day of birth rather than a hand-written greeting, the average American still receives more than 20 greeting cards each year, contributing to an industry that grosses an estimated $7.5 billion a year, according to the Greeting Card Association.

I venture that’s because there’s something special about giving or receiving the perfect birthday card. You know, the one that fits to a T the personality of the recipient, the birthday card you receive that makes you laugh out loud. But who writes those funny or sentimental messages? Who keeps them fresh?

Enter Oatmeal Studios, a humorous greeting card company, and their pool of freelance writers and artists. Do you have what it takes to be a greeting card guru? Dawn Abraham, Editor at Oatmeal Studios tells all . . .

Freelance-Zone: Oatmeal Studios has been around for about 25 years. Can you tell writers a bit about the company?

Dawn Abraham: Actually, Oatmeal Studios has been around for more than 30 years. It started as a family-owned business with a few designs and grew into a large, alternative humorous card company with sales internationally.

FZ: How did you come to be involved with the company? 

DA: I started writing for Oatmeal in 1986 and because I lived nearby, it was a natural progression for me to start working in the company part-time as an assistant editor in 1987; I have been working here since then (with one break when my kids were little)…

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Avoiding the Paper Bin

by Mike O’Mary

Dream of Things has a Fan Page on Facebook, and a while back, somebody left a message for me on the Dream of Things wall: “Ever time try write storys use go in paper bin because stoys not at good.”

At first, I didn’t know what to say. But I thought about it, and then I wrote back: “I think I understand. I have days like that, too.”

Actually, I have a lot of days like that, and recently I kind of hit a wall. Which is why this post is about taking care of yourself and making sure you get plenty of rest and relaxation.

I hit a wall mentally and physically after four months of working 70-80 hours a week. I launched a new publishing company and online bookstore, published two books, started soliciting submissions for 15 anthologies of creative nonfiction, recruited and retained seven editors to edit those 15 anthologies, started contributing to The Freelance Zone, and began editing two book-length manuscripts. And that was in my spare time because I also have a day job. This past weekend, I couldn’t think any more. So I took the weekend off. I went for a walk on Saturday, then spent the afternoon cleaning out my closets, trying on old pants (I had somehow accummulated about 40 pairs of pants) and setting aside anything that didn’t fit for donation to charity. Then Sunday afternoon, I went to the Green Mill in Chicago for some live jazz and to celebrate my girlfriend’s birthday. It was a much-needed break.

When I was freelancing, one of the things I found most challenging was battling the feeling that I could never completely relax. I always felt I needed to be looking for the next assignment, and I never told a client “no” because I never knew when the client might call again. But relaxation is critical to your well-being. Otherwise, it is very difficult to do the very demanding work of writing and editing. So turn off that laptop, put on some music and try on some pants (or try on whatever you like to try on to relax), and live today so you can write again tomorrow.

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, an independent book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 15 topics.

Writing Goals for 2010

by Joe Wallace

Have you started setting goals for the new year? Catherine and I have started the brainstorming process and we’re hoping you’re doing the same. If there’s one thing new freelancers should learn early in the career, it’s to treat your writing like a business–and that means creating a business plan, setting goals and getting organized.

It’s a lot to consider, but there’s a way to break through the inertia you might feel when facing the sheer volume of work you need to do to make the new year as productive as it can be. Start by making a simple list of four areas you want to improve or build upon in 2010. For example:

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Getting Unstuck as a Writer

by Joe Wallace

Need some figurative caffeine? Are you feeling stuck on the page, unable to write another line because your brain hurts, the inspiration is gone, and chances are you’ve been slaving away on a project far too long?

Before you stick your head in a vise, try a few of these little tricks I use to get unstuck long enough to wrap up another segment of the writing project you’re slogging away on:

Turn your last idea inside out. Are you writing about trying to succeed at something? Turn your idea on its head and write about failure for a few paragraphs. If you’re writing history, try a flight of fancy–speculate about something that might have happened had things turned out differently.

Be negative. It doesn’t have to be negativity per se, actually. Invoke a strong emotion you haven’t used lately. Get worked up, put some energy into the piece.

Abuse some substances…slightly. Sugar, caffeine, peanut butter, a glass of Chardonnay in the middle of the morning, whatever it takes to get your brain moving in a slightly different direction. Don’t overdo it on any of these, just prod yourself a little.

Contradict your last paragraph. Take the devil’s advocate point of view for a few lines and see what happens.

Change the subject. Anytime you hit a creative roadblock, try just changing topics, locations, anything. Or ditch the section you’re on and start a section ahead and revisit the old one tomorrow.

Say something outrageous. Then either disprove it or back it up.

One of these tricks will grease the gears and get the old brainbox humming again. If not, I guarantee double your money back. What’s that? You haven’t paid? Step this way, please…

Travel Writing? Let the Traveler Beware

So you want to take a stab at freelance travel writing? If you’re new to the business, here are a few things you should know before you get started. This advice isn’t about creating the finished product, this is more about protecting yourself when you’re on your way to and from the story:

• Be very careful when booking your tickets online. These tickets are often non-refundable. If the name on your tickets doesn’t match your ID, you won’t fly that day OR you’ll fly after purchasing a second full-rate airline ticket.
• Excess baggage fees are now $50 and higher. Pack lightly and take as much in your carry-on as possible.
• You can write off your tickets as a travel expense, but what does your tax pro say about excess baggage fees, parking tickets and other hidden charges? Know before you go.
• You don’t need the insurance on that rental car unless your auto insurance policy does not cover rental cars. Ask your insurance agent and save your money.
• Read your car rental agreements CAREFULLY. Did you know rental agencies in some states have the right to charge huge fees for smoking on a non-smoking vehicle, taking the car across the border, or racking up too much mileage?
• Hotel checkout times are firm. Don’t get charged extra for failing to check out on time. That’s a “no duh” bit of advice, but what’s not so obvious is that many hotels will be more lenient with you on checkout time IF you make arrangements in advance. If you need an extra hour or two, let the front desk know the night before and see what they say–you might get a break.
• If you are traveling internationally with a Mac laptop, you may be surprised to discover that your Mac is compatible with the local power supply. In Germany, for example, you need a converter plug (an easy purchase at any Apple Store or online) but your Mac will run fine. That’s because of the nature of your Mac power cord. Beware though–if your plug has any defect at all the current could fry your laptop. You run a risk anytime you plug in to a non-USA power source without a voltage transformer, but that said, many people have used their Macs overseas without anything more than the converter plug.
• If you need to send large images back to an editor, consider sending via YouSendIt or some other transfer service designed to handle large files with speed. Sending large images via e-mail, especially from overseas on borrowed bandwidth, is a right pain.

My Freelance Writing Secret Weapon For New Markets

How does a writer expand a portfolio into new subjects with little or no expertise? If you are primarily a music journalist, but want to break into medical writing, how do you take that first step? Here’s my secret for branching out into other areas. It’s so simple you’ll wonder why you never thought of it before. … Continue Reading

Top Ten Freelancer “Hire Me” Traits

Recently I posted a set of “don’t hire me” traits new freelancers sometimes display, so I figured it was time to throw out some advice in the opposite direction. What makes an editor take a chance on new writers? What makes them ask some writers back for more? I don’t claim to know what works for every editor, but here’s what I look for;

10. A good cover letter. I recently put out a call for writers requesting three writing samples and links to online work. The worst responses I got included those things and nothing more. While some of the writing samples were decent, they were outclassed by the ones I got that had good cover letters. The good cover letters were the ones where the writer introduced themselves, listed some relevant qualifications and gave some background. The worst cover letters all said the same things. “I believe I am qualified for the position you advertised,” but did NOT ELABORATE.

9. Relevant writing samples. One joker sent me a cover letter, resume and a copy of his college thesis. I advertised for a writer who could do research and writeups on consumer electronics with a slant towards bargain hunting. What that guy SHOULD have done was to send me any writing at all that had something to do with what I asked for. Always at least try to include at least one sample of your work that is tilted towards the job at hand. Some editors will disagree with this next bit, but I’d rather see two published clips of any published writing and one unpublished clip that is relevant instead of nothing but samples of work that has nothing to do with my needs. I just want to see whether you are capable of writing in my niche.

8. Flexibility and reliability. A writer who can demonstrate the willingness to learn or go the extra mile is pure gold to a busy editor. There are plenty of writers out there, but not as many who have the ability to think on their feet, roll with the editorial punches and can take a few curveballs. The easiest way to establish your flexibility in the early stages of an editorial relationship is to simply decide you won’t say no to ANYTHING. Some writers don’t have this luxury, especially those who still work day jobs, but it is in your interest to say yes to as much as possible from a new editor in the early stages. It endears you to the editor and makes you the go-to person–status which gets you more work and higher pay. Reliability is a valuable trait in a freelancer.

7. Honesty. Don’t learn the hard way; reliability and flexibility doesn’t mean you can do EVERYTHING. When you hit the end of your current abilities, don’t try to fake your way through a topic if you don’t have the chops or the know-how. Tell the editor if you legitimately can’t take on the challenge. You’ll find that the honest approach works better towards building trust than if you take on something you know is really beyond your reach and turn in work that’s not up to par. I was once asked if I could handle doing an annual report for a large corporation; the money was massive and I had dollar signs in my eyes. But I also knew I’d never done one before and I had to force myself to tell the editor I didn’t think I could deliver the polished results the client was looking for. I missed out on a few thousand dollars that way, but the relationship actually got better and I took on more work as a result of my honesty. In the long run, I wound up making much more because I took the transparent approach. … Continue Reading

Confessions of an Editor: Top 10 “Don’t Hire Me” Traits

I spotted the above sign while driving back to Chicago from Toledo, Ohio and was inspired to write something for new editors who are about to put out a call for freelancers or writing staff. Writers, you should read this and take notes–knowing the mind of a potential editor is important to your survival in this business. As I am about to put out a call for new freelancers, this list is definitely top of mind. I dread posting those “freelancers wanted” ads, because I’ll get a flood of responses from people who belong in clown college rather than behind the keyboard. The three to five good results I get are worth the hassle, but when I am reading the slop, I don’t believe it.

I don’t view this so much as advice as sharing about how I personally do business. For some editors, this top ten won’t work, and that’s the nature of the biz, but I’m willing to bet at least 75% of those new to the editing game can find something useful here:

Top Ten Writer Traits Which Scream, “Don’t Hire Me”:

10. Misguided Cover Letters. Don’t tell me anything unrelated to the job ad–and don’t bother replying to an ad which seeks a specific type of writer unless you fit the bill. I once put out a job ad requesting replies only from writers who were also musicians. One cover letter in my inbox started out, “I am a voiceover artist.” That’s nice, buddy, but that’s NOT what I asked for. In case you’re wondering, the rest of the ad made it perfectly clear I was seeking musicians only, no other type of performers. The respondant clearly couldn’t follow instructions.

9. Clips From “Content” Websites. Sorry, kids, but if I see Associated Content, HubPages, or any other content mill material used as writing clips, it sends big warning flares off in my head. I’d rather see an unpublished clip directly related to my publication’s focus than some generalized crapola you took five minutes to write and edit before posting to the content mill. Submitting content clips screams “amateur” to me.

8. Clips From Blogs. If I am LOOKING for a blogger, I’ll ask for blog clips. If I need ARTICLES, blog clips don’t do me a damn bit of good when trying to evaluate the appropriate skills. Blogging is NOT article writing, and vice versa.

7. Submitting Fiction. Unless specifically asked for fiction clips, never include your short stories or novel excerpts when replying to a job ad. This is among the worst judgement errors you can make as it shows a fundamental lack of understanding about how the game is played. I have plenty of time for noobs and beginners as long as they show initiative and at least TRY to respond properly to a job ad or call for writers. … Continue Reading

Confessions of an Editor: Karma For Freelancers

There are two kinds of karma a freelancer can earn. In the earliest days of my career as a writer/producer for radio and television, I had three people who took the time to pass on some genuine wisdom about how to survive and grow in the craft. One was exceptionally generous–even monetarily. I was in my early 20s at the time and had a lot to learn, so for anybody to take a snotnosed, know-it-all punk in tow had to have a great deal of patience.

Especially with ME.

One thing that my three mentors passed on to me was the notion that I didn’t owe them anything except one thing: when I had the opportunity to do the same for someone else, I’d be obligated to do so.

Many years later I find that opportunity again and again. Every time I have an opportunity, I feel obligated to at least try to do SOMETHING. It’s the only way I can pay back the people who took the time and energy to help polish my rough edges off.

The thing is, freelancer karma works both ways.

Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away I had to let a freelancer go. It was someone I had tried to work with, giving a lot of advice, fine tuning, trying to work with someone who clearly needed some guidance. The problem was, this was a writer in the early stages of a career and didn’t a lot of polish. In fact, the skills were really quite basic, but I took a chance on this person anyway. I thought I saw some potential, but when the going got tough, the effort just wasn’t there and we had to part ways.

The business relationship didn’t last a terribly long time, just long enough for an editor to figure out what the writing on the wall was saying and terminate things before they got truly awful. Unfortunately, when it came time to part ways, the writer didn’t take it very well. This person did not go gentle into that good night. In fact, with apologies to Dylan Thomas, … Continue Reading

Confessions of an Editor: The Terminator

Hey, new freelancers! I am going to tell you a secret near the end of this screed about the writing business. Nobody else will tell you what I’m going to share, or at the very least they won’t be as honest about it as I am. It’s blunt, it is not polite and it’s the whole truth. Read on…

I’ve had to discipline writers (and other creatives), I’ve had to dress them down, I’ve even had to roll their stupid hungover rear ends out of beds on at least one occasion to keep them from getting into a larger world of hurt up the editorial ladder. That last one was a mistake. I should have let that guy twist in the wind, but that was when I was a new editor and still a nice guy.

Hah.

The one thing I truly hate to do is fire people. A few years back, one unlucky gent tried to run game on me, but unfortunately for him, I myself had already run that game myself when I was a young punk. I gave him his shot to try and talk his way out of it without BSing me, but he didn’t take the opportunity. So I dumped him.

As an editor–and manager–you have to be very careful not to overreact when your people screw up, try to push your boundaries, test your limits and see how much they can get away with. It’s human nature to do all that, and a good editor will let somebody go up to a point because we ALL do it.

The day you, dear reader, find yourself in the editing chair, you have to learn your tolerance for all this stuff and decide what it is that you can’t take. Whatever your hot buttons are, learn them and sharpen your knives. You’re going to need them. … Continue Reading

Confessions of an Editor: The Background Check

Let’s talk about stuff you can’t take back. Like tarting up your writer’s resume to make yourself look a bit more accomplished than you are. Or scaring potential paying clients away by a few ill-advised moves you think are harmless.

I won’t presume to speak for all editors, I’ll just speak for ME. As an editor, especially one who only just recently put out a call for writers, waded through the crap and hired multiple freelancers.

For me, there is a level of inexperience that I feel I can work with if a writer shows promise, or at least a willingness to learn. So at least in MY case, inexperience is not an automatic disqualifier. But what is?

Two things come immediately to mind. The first is when a freelancer comes to me with a resume full of clips designed to make them look like they have a lot of experience. Upon further investigation — about thirty seconds worth — I discover the resume is full of “pay per click” writing and stuff written for free. In fact, the sum total of the resume is this sort of thing.

This is pretty heinous–the mark of a rank amateur with no experience in the business whatsoever. Even so, as wretched as it is, believe it or not I am STILL willing to give this person a chance for another thirty seconds. Sadly for most in this boat, that thirty seconds comes and goes without me doing anything but deleting the resume and the e-mail.

Why? … Continue Reading

A Huge Ever-Growing Pulsating Brain That Rules From The Center of the Underworld

I know EXACTLY what you are thinking. What does this UK dancefloor classic have to do with freelance writing? Funny you should ask…Alex Patterson is the mad genius behind The Orb, which releases trippy, quirk-laden music. Patterson never releases his musical projects without collaborating with someone else–I’m not sure why, but there just doesn’t seem to be a solo album in Patterson’s future, ever.

Fans of The Orb know what they are getting, more or less, every time they purchase a new CD. Naturally there are those who feel The Orb’s best days are behind them (after all, they’ve been at this game a long time now) but Patterson still keeps making music and much of it is still very, very good.

What in the WORLD can a freelancer learn from Alex Patterson? … Continue Reading

Freelance Writing Lie Number 99: Never Write For Free

Ready for some GREAT advice that runs counter to everything you read on every writing site that tells you not to write for free?

Not only should you write for free, if you run a blog you should HUNT for opportunities to write for no money.

Now you think I am crazy, right? Like I’ve gone off the deep end after constantly re-writing copy for people who drop their plurals?

Not…quite.

Let me introduce you to the concept of guest blogging. Guest bloggers get to pop in on someone else’s blog, throw around a few pearls of wisdom on the topics of the day, and get some nice linkbacks to their blog, resume page or MySpace site. Now you’re starting to see the light, I think.

Guest blogging is a practice that is used by savvy self-promoters to increase visibility and drive more traffic to their own pages. It cuts both ways–you post links promoting the other person’s blog where you guested, and they drive traffic back to you. Your readers and theirs start to cross pollenate.

You generally don’t get any money for this, but the traffic is definitely worth the effort. Let me give you a hint: always try to guest blog on a site that has a bit more clout than your own. This is good for your Google standings and will bring some of those higher profile readers over to you.

Write for free, folks. Don’t listen to those other writing websites that tell you anything different. Just remember to write for free in THE RIGHT WAY.