I spotted the above sign while driving back to Chicago from Toledo, Ohio and was inspired to write something for new editors who are about to put out a call for freelancers or writing staff. Writers, you should read this and take notes–knowing the mind of a potential editor is important to your survival in this business. As I am about to put out a call for new freelancers, this list is definitely top of mind. I dread posting those “freelancers wanted” ads, because I’ll get a flood of responses from people who belong in clown college rather than behind the keyboard. The three to five good results I get are worth the hassle, but when I am reading the slop, I don’t believe it.
I don’t view this so much as advice as sharing about how I personally do business. For some editors, this top ten won’t work, and that’s the nature of the biz, but I’m willing to bet at least 75% of those new to the editing game can find something useful here:
Top Ten Writer Traits Which Scream, “Don’t Hire Me”:
10. Misguided Cover Letters. Don’t tell me anything unrelated to the job ad–and don’t bother replying to an ad which seeks a specific type of writer unless you fit the bill. I once put out a job ad requesting replies only from writers who were also musicians. One cover letter in my inbox started out, “I am a voiceover artist.” That’s nice, buddy, but that’s NOT what I asked for. In case you’re wondering, the rest of the ad made it perfectly clear I was seeking musicians only, no other type of performers. The respondant clearly couldn’t follow instructions.
9. Clips From “Content” Websites. Sorry, kids, but if I see Associated Content, HubPages, or any other content mill material used as writing clips, it sends big warning flares off in my head. I’d rather see an unpublished clip directly related to my publication’s focus than some generalized crapola you took five minutes to write and edit before posting to the content mill. Submitting content clips screams “amateur” to me.
8. Clips From Blogs. If I am LOOKING for a blogger, I’ll ask for blog clips. If I need ARTICLES, blog clips don’t do me a damn bit of good when trying to evaluate the appropriate skills. Blogging is NOT article writing, and vice versa.
7. Submitting Fiction. Unless specifically asked for fiction clips, never include your short stories or novel excerpts when replying to a job ad. This is among the worst judgement errors you can make as it shows a fundamental lack of understanding about how the game is played. I have plenty of time for noobs and beginners as long as they show initiative and at least TRY to respond properly to a job ad or call for writers.
6. Not Including Basic Contact Info. The writer who sends an e-mail address but no phone number looks to me like someone who didn’t take their time with the cover letter. That is a bad way to begin a relationship.
5. Kooky E-Mail Addresses. Some editors may disagree with me here, but if I get a cover letter and resume from “CookieButt66@hotmail.com”, I am much less inclined to take the sender seriously. You can’t take five minutes to get a hotmail addy with a professional-looking address? SPARE ME. The next button I am likely to push after reading your return addy is the DELETE key. It’s a bad, mean world out there.
4. Being Inappropriately Familiar. I hired a freelancer once upon a time who started addressing me as “Bud” and “Dude” in the earliest days of our professional relationship. I like my OWN NAME, thanks. Freelancers, please don’t do this. It makes it sooooo much easier to fire you later when you start dropping your plurals or misusing the apostrophe. Oh, and I HATE being called “Sir”. Some editors like it, but I am not one of them. Try to feel out your new editor first before you start in with the nicknames or excessive honorifics. Do it for ME.
3. Talking Out Your Arse. If you are applying for a writing gig or sending a query on a topic that you don’t quite truly understand, reassess your ability to write for that publication, but don’t give up on the gig just for a lack of information. I once hired a talented writer and video producer who admitted to me right up front that she didn’t know a great deal about the subject at hand, but was willing to learn and take the initiative to do it on her own time. I hired her immediately. I have moved on from the editor’s chair at that publication, but I’ve kept in touch and know she has done quite well. It all started with her honesty and willingness. Never underestimate the power of that willingness and enthusiasm, it can make up for a lack of subject matter expertise. Just don’t FAKE IT. You will accidentally misuse a technical term or refer to an outdated bit of data and will be revealed as a wanna-be.
2. An Inability To Follow Simple Instructions. I delete all resumes and cover letters with attachments, and say so in the job ads I post. If you can’t take the time to completely read the job ad and learn what my requirements are, you are already wasting my time just by responding. What makes me, the editor, think you’ll do any better if I actually screwed up and HIRED you?
1. Admitting To…ANYTHING. Some new writers put something in their cover letters along the lines of, “I don’t have any published clips.” or even more foolishly, “I don’t have much experience writing, but I hope you’ll take a chance on me.” I know there is a difference of opinion among editors on this one, but I believe you should never open the lines of communication with such nonsense. Your first impression is too valuable to waste; I’d rather get a cover letter from someone who can SELL themselves than someone who is WARNING YOU up front not to hire them. Don’t waste my time telling me what you haven’t done. Instead, tell me what you CAN do. That’s how you close the deal.
You sound very angry and bitter. You’re over-critical and seem like you’re just looking for excuses to reject applicants. Not to mention, your #1 and your #3 contradict each other.
#3: “I once hired a talented writer and video producer who admitted to me right up front that she didn’t know a great deal about the subject at hand, but was willing to learn…”
#1: “even more foolishly, “I don’t have much experience writing, but I hope you’ll take a chance on me.”… I believe you should never open the lines of communication with such nonsense.”
Please do us all a favor and post a link to this blog in your job ads so that we’ll know not to bother applying to such a sourpuss.
Chris–looks like I didn’t communicate my ideas well enough on #1 and #3. Yes–I DID hire someone who admitted they didn’t have enough experience in a particular kind of subject matter, but the thing is–what they DIDN’T do is say that in the COVER LETTER. (Oh, and that writer had TALENT, which makes up for a LOT in some cases.)
The first impression factor is all-important. Any editor you contact will have six fires to put out all at once. And then there’s YOU. Keep that in mind and you will have much more success getting their attention.
Bitter? No–very annoyed, however, at having to wade through 100 responses to a job ad to find ONE appropriate reply to the call for writers.
Sourpuss? Guilty as charged. See the above sentence.
Your post made me laugh, though. I consider that a small victory. For those of you who have never sat in the editor’s chair before, don’t take the job expecting to keep your sunny disposition after you’ve told the same person ten times to quit dropping their plurals.
P.S. Having to fire people tends to make you a bit cynical.
So, by the example you give above, you would rather hire someone who tells you lies of omission during the interview process only to find out later that they may work out for your needs? Interesting.
If you are only getting 100 responses to an ad for ‘writer wanted’ it sounds like you need to buy a new mailing list!
Good luck!
@C Cameron
No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. What I am saying is exactly what I wrote–put your best foot forward. A resume, cover letter and clips are all supposed to do the same thing–sell you as a writer. Consider your contact with an editor an ad for YOU. Ads don’t tell you “Our product isn’t the greatest, but you’ll be mostly satisfied with the results”. They tell you the product is the best thing since sliced bread. And if it is sliced bread they are selling, they tell you it is bread sliced in a New! Improved! Ultra Modern! way.
It is important to remember that an editor holds the keys to the kingdom, and you should approach the editor knowing they are A) busier than hell, B) swamped with hundreds of queries, resumes and cover letters, C) Looking for people who can help them meet the deadline and get the big boss off their back.
The easiest way to get in good with an editor is to understand their pressures and headaches and try to be part of the solution, not the problem. Writers who do that develop ongoing relationships with editors. Writers who don’t…there’s always Associated Content and HubPages.
Associated Content writers aren’t all unprofessional… there are many “normal” regular print type writers who write at AC. Content writing is the next big wave and dismissing someone’s content from a “content mill” could well lose you a good writer who just happens to have a little free time on their hands. Most ACers would tell you it takes more than 5 minutes to pen an article. You should join it and try it before you pan it.
If your knee-jerk response is to automatically dismiss any “content mill” clips, I can only think that you must not have much confidence in your ability to distinguish good writing from bad writing.
Occasionally the mills grind out some good material.
What really startled me was that “generalized” crapola comment. That was sort of a “generalized” crapola sweeping statement. Any relevant and useful advice you might have imparted in the rest of your article was rendered useless because I can’t take you seriously as an writer or an editor. Especially after having spotted your shameless “Hire Us, Please” ad on your…blog! Truly, you shouldn’t have such disdain for people who are trying to make a living doing the same thing you do. I hope the editors you have developed ongoing relationships treat you with more respect than you treat your readers.
@Monica,
I won’t rehash the points in my post–I’ll simply try to clarify one important point I seem to have left out of the original;
Editors are very busy people. This means the first impression factor is KING when an editor looks at your resume, cover letter and clips. If you were submitting a query to Catholic Parent magazine, you would NOT include a clip you got published in Hustler–even if it was a legit piece of fine journalism.
Content writing is much the same way. Submit appropriate clips to the editor. Associated Content doesn’t cut the mustard because of the bad rep these clips have because they don’t go through any kind of serious editorial review.
I have to chime in here on two counts:
1. From a writer’s perspective, especially when I was first starting out in the business, I HATED posts where editors went on and on about how we writers are clueless and don’t listen, etc. They made me seriously angry. Until I realized something….
They weren’t aimed at me.
Take heart, dear writer, for if you are angry with what Joe has been saying, chances are–you don’t fit in the category of writers that he is talking about. I do agree that many good writers will use AC as a way to make some extra cash; but I would bet that most of them do not use those clips as their first choice when sending an editor samples of their finest work. Writing for them doesn’t make you look amateurish, but if you choose them as a way to first represent yourself to an editor, be prepared to be judged accordingly. Some will dismiss you simply because of it. Unfair? Yes. But it does happen.
Good writers do follow directions. They try to present themselves in the best light possible without being dishonest. They try to anticipate what an editor wants–and give it to them. Joe may have a snarky, off the cuff and somewhat irreverent way of saying it–but it is true.
I get tired sometimes of hearing that editors are busy people. I get it. Really. But we are too. The trouble is; that doesn’t really matter. We are on the “asking” end of the game and they are on the “answering” one.
This brings me to point #2.
It is impossible to know what editors want. Each one of them is different as a snowflake and they have their own quirks, likes and dislikes. There are, however, a few things that most of them appreciate. These include: clean, error-free copy that is interesting to read, an understanding of their publication, audience and the tone/types of articles they publish, and anything else you can do to make their job easier. Oh. And be on time…early if possible.
My goal in this blog is to help freelancers–both new and experienced–navigate their career by sharing my experiences, resources and contacts. I welcome comments, questions–and subjects you would like to see covered here.
Thanks for chiming in–and please don’t hesitate to request a topic if you’ve got one we can write about…
Your #9 tickles me. Maybe our reasoning may be different through. If I were submitted a clip from a person’s Associated Content activities, I’d be interested in checking out their behavior in AC’s “Forums” area. That alone might give me good insight into their quality of character, professional integrity and conduct that I wouldn’t tolerate in a person I employ or subcontract.