by Diane Holmes, Marketing-Zone: Marketing Yourself and Your Book, founder of Pitch University.

As a holiday gift for all our Freelance-Zone readers, I bring you the gift of laughter.  Yes, a gift about marketing and the challenges you face in marketing things destined for greatness (like your own writing).

You’re in good company.

Bob Newhart Tries to Market the New Game of Baseball

Bonus Fun:

I’d Love This Product Even If I Weren’t A Stealth Marketer (Awesome marketing fun by The Onion. Fav line: In stealth-marketing parlance, this is what is known as “roach baiting,” but I prefer to call it “the least I can do.”)

Marketing Contract Bridge (for the 3 of you out there who play Bridge)

If marketing emails could talk… (Dry, witty, must watch!  You’ll never get a sales email again that you don’t wish was narrated by this guy.)

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In This Series So Far:

1. Step Inside the Marketing Confessional
2. Does Marketing Your Writing Feel Like Prostitution
3. Marketing Manifestos To Shake You Out Of Your Rut (don’t be a lemming)
4. Every Writer’s Marketing Dream

Upcoming Articles:

• Doing It For Money: Free Opinion  vs. Self Interest
• The Use of Deadly Force: Helping vs. Cramming it Down Their Throats
• Engraved Invitations: Genuinely Interested vs. the Unsolicited Cold Call.
• The Big Gulf: Friends vs. Strangers
• The Crass Factor: Humility vs. Shameful Ego
• It Doesn’t  Even Work: Receiving Validation vs The Stink Eye
• You’re Lying; Selling Your Writing is Different: Opinion as a Consumer  vs. The Muddle of Buy Me.
• I’m Not Ron Popeil or Billy Mays: “I don’t know what to say” vs. Skilled Patter
• I’m Not Even that Good: Confidence vs. Insecurity Runs Rampant

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Diane writes two columns for Freelance-Zone: Fiction-Zone: Leaps in Fiction Mastery and Marketing-Zone:Marketing-Zone: Marketing Yourself and Your Book.

She’s the Founder and Chief Alchemist of Pitch University

by Diane Holmes, Marketing-Zone: Marketing Yourself and Your Book, founder of Pitch University.

This is a marketing article about hope. About what works. And about a darn good example of a writer just like you.

In the spirit of shaking you out of your “I hate marketing” rut, I continue the call to a new world-view where marketing confessions are heard, and you don’t end up feeling like a  prostitute of words.

Instead, you are skilled, radiant, powerful, wise, generous, delighted, and a master of the universe.

You love what you do.  It’s natural to interact with others.  It’s helpful to let others know you have good stuff available.  And yes, you are going to find ways to market that you LOVE.

What won’t you do?  Any marketing that doesn’t make you feel like a doer of good, a champion of nouns and verbs, and a supreme being of quality and success.

Why?

Because that kind of marketing actually works against your brand.

If your brand is who you are (check out my 11-part series on author branding), then your marketing simply must be part of the brand you want to embody.  It must be part of YOU.

You hurt your brand and your business when you market in a way that you hate and that doesn’t represent who you are as a person.

You shouldn’t be doing marketing like.

I know this goes against a lot of common wisdom on what you should be doing and how. But the folks giving this advice (well meaning, though they are) are working with a very old model of marketing.

Truth:  You strengthen your brand when you market in a way you love, a way that’s in sync with your integrity and what you have to offer, and a way that makes you appealing to work with.  And—get this—your marketing is more likely to work if you love it.  (More on that in a minute.) Continue reading Every Writer’s Marketing Dream →

by Diane Holmes, Marketing-Zone: Marketing Yourself and Your Book, founder of Pitch University.

I want to shake up your thinking.  Rattle the bones of what you think you know about marking yourself and your writing.

Most of what you think you know is wrong, anyway.

Don’t Do This

So, you’re out there hawking your writing (which gives you the minty prostitution breath). You hate it.  But all the other writers say you have to do it..

And that’s not all.

You have to do exactly these specific things (all of them), because that’s what works.  Everyone hates it, but you want to be a success, don’t cha?

Except they’re wrong. And you already know this deep-down inside, which is what makes the marketing crapola feel even more like being played.

I’m saved!

A couple weeks ago, we had a little “marketing confession session,” and I proposed a new rule:

NEW RULE:  When it comes to Author Marketing, do only what makes you feel jazzed and helpful.

But, you secretly think I’m pulling a bait and switch, like I’ll tell you why you should feel jazzed and darn helpful to do all the things you actually hate.

Nope.  I’m your trusted advisor. And trusted advisors are not that smarmy. 😉

The Brain-Rattle Reset

Let me introduce you to some key manifestos that will shake you loose from your stale marketing beliefs. Continue reading Marketing Manifestos To Shake You Out Of Your Rut (don’t be a lemming) →

by Diane Holmes, Marketing-Zone: Marketing Yourself and Your Book, founder of Pitch University.

I have a new rule for marketing, and it’s going to change your life.  It’s liberating.  And you’ll thank me.

Gentle Questions for Late At Night

Do you hate having to market your writing?

Do you feel like a prostitute as you hawk your latest work and tell people how great it (and you) are?

Do you feel like a sellout?  Fake?  Insincere? A used-car salesman?  A manipulator?  Desperate?  Whiny?  Greedy?  Grasping? Ineffective? …Pitiful?

Do you just want to scream, “This is stupid!?”

Are you only marketing because everyone says you have to?

If the whole thing (the Tweeting, the Liking, The Amazon Tagging) a total soul suck?

An Obvious Point

You market other stuff every day, and you love it.  I know this because I can see your excitement when you do it.

• You buy a new ca? Tell all your friends about why it’s the best car ever?
• See a good movie?  Recommend it?
• Proud of your spouse, kid, co-worker, friend’s success?  Did you gush about it? Shout the good news?  Brag, even?
• Like your veterinarian? Real estate agent? A cleverly-named wine?  Let anyone in on the secret?
• Did a website offer great articles for free?  Did you pass the word?
• Did someone like your haircut?  Did you accidentally recommend your stylist to her or him?

The New Definition of Marketing That Will Make You Feel Great

Marketing is about helping.  It’s about sharing excitement.  It’s about being valued for your opinion.  It’s about preventing a bad experience and ensuring a good one.

Marketing is just part of being a living member of a community.

It’s one of the great ways we engage with others, simply because we’re interested in their lives.

We find it natural, easy, and even rewarding(!) to make these comments without even calling it influence, sales, or promotion.

And the key?   Continue reading Step Inside the Author Marketing Confessional →