freelance-zone.com

Some people believe writing online isn’t “real writing”. I never gave this notion much thought until reading a post at The Writing Journey titled Why Real Writers Don’t Write On the Internet. The opening line in this well-intentioned piece includes the following:

“I’m just going to say it. Real writers wouldn’t get caught dead blogging or writing web content. By real writers, I’m talking about print writers, folks.  I call them real because, well, that’s how many of them distinguish themselves from us Internet writers.”

Now the author goes on to say he’s writing with a bit of snark when addressing the habits of “real” writers, so we have to cut the author some slack–he’s not REALLY claiming that print writers wouldn’t be caught dead writing blogs or online material. Or at least I HOPE he isn’t, because the evidence is overwhelmingly against such an idea. Neil Gaiman, William Gibson, Poppy Z. Brite and hundreds of other print writers all know the power of blogs and online writing to boost their print material. William Gibson isn’t just a scribbler of great computer-geek-centric science fiction, he’s also a contributor to Wired and other respected publications. That include online content, too. But what DOES qualify someone as a “real” writer? (more…)

Joe’s post made me think about how tough this writing game–heck–this life is without a little help. Everyone needs a hand to hold, an ear to listen to them and a person in their corner when things get tough. Mentors are those people. They are hard on you. They give you a chance. They help you out.

Are you someone’s mentor? There is always someone who has less experience than you; even if you are new to writing. Help them out.

But don’t stop there…ask yourself…are you a mentee? Do you have someone above you helping to guide you? Both are valuable. Go for too long as a mentor without the benefit of someone wiser than you and you get cocky. You stop growing.

So I guess this post is an encouragement to be both. Keep learning–and pass it on. You don’t have to go it alone…

There are two kinds of karma a freelancer can earn. In the earliest days of my career as a writer/producer for radio and television, I had three people who took the time to pass on some genuine wisdom about how to survive and grow in the craft. One was exceptionally generous–even monetarily. I was in my early 20s at the time and had a lot to learn, so for anybody to take a snotnosed, know-it-all punk in tow had to have a great deal of patience.

Especially with ME.

One thing that my three mentors passed on to me was the notion that I didn’t owe them anything except one thing: when I had the opportunity to do the same for someone else, I’d be obligated to do so.

Many years later I find that opportunity again and again. Every time I have an opportunity, I feel obligated to at least try to do SOMETHING. It’s the only way I can pay back the people who took the time and energy to help polish my rough edges off.

The thing is, freelancer karma works both ways.

Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away I had to let a freelancer go. It was someone I had tried to work with, giving a lot of advice, fine tuning, trying to work with someone who clearly needed some guidance. The problem was, this was a writer in the early stages of a career and didn’t a lot of polish. In fact, the skills were really quite basic, but I took a chance on this person anyway. I thought I saw some potential, but when the going got tough, the effort just wasn’t there and we had to part ways.

The business relationship didn’t last a terribly long time, just long enough for an editor to figure out what the writing on the wall was saying and terminate things before they got truly awful. Unfortunately, when it came time to part ways, the writer didn’t take it very well. This person did not go gentle into that good night. In fact, with apologies to Dylan Thomas, (more…)

I’ve debated the merits of using Craigslist to find freelance writing gigs, but for those of you who still use CL, it’s important to avoid wasting time on the sort of idiotic scams that pop up on CL with annoying regularity. I myself fell prey to a few of these in my less informed days, so I pass along the benefit of my experiences on to you.

The following is reprinted verbatim from a recent post to the Writing Jobs section of Craigslist:

“A media blog is seeking review writers. You will be reviewing hot products of the new age and writing 500-700 word articles on them. For the application, we will require sample reviews to be written. We have 4 openings. If you are selected as a writer, work will be part-time and 20-25 jobs per week. Will be paying $100/article. Please send your request for more information (no resumes, please) to our email. Thank you.”

Now let’s dissect this ad and see why you should avoid posts like these at all costs.

1. Nomenclature written by the cluelesss. The ad is for a “media blog”. It then goes on to say that you are expected to review ‘hot products’. We’re already off to a bad start here as a media blog would, by implication, be reviewing media. Sure, it’s possible they want you to review downloads, DVDs, or other media, but in my experience, “media blogs” are commenting on either the media itself or streaming content as opposed to disc-based material. Another warning sign here is the phrase “of the new age”. What the writer MEANS to say is “hot new products of the Internet age” or some other such nonsense. As New Age pertains to a religious movement rather than technology, my bullshit detector on this tells me that the writer is a barely-literate scam artist who is throwing around terms they don’t really understand. Again, I could be TOTALLY WRONG. But we know I’m not, don’t we?

2. Confused (and confusing) expectations. The ad starts out saying they are a blog. Then the ad states that 500-700 word articles are needed. Is this a blog or a magazine? If the “blog” is paying $100 per post, the people running this are either on the scam or are the most clueless blog owners on the planet. No blog pays $100 for a blog entry. The ad says they want to fire FOUR PEOPLE at around $2500 a month each. What kind of new blog has this type of budget? Why, a non-existent one, of course! They want to shell out $10 K a month just for writers? Are you laughing yet?

3. They want you to work for free. ” For the application, we will require sample reviews to be written”. (more…)

Hey, new freelancers! I am going to tell you a secret near the end of this screed about the writing business. Nobody else will tell you what I’m going to share, or at the very least they won’t be as honest about it as I am. It’s blunt, it is not polite and it’s the whole truth. Read on…

I’ve had to discipline writers (and other creatives), I’ve had to dress them down, I’ve even had to roll their stupid hungover rear ends out of beds on at least one occasion to keep them from getting into a larger world of hurt up the editorial ladder. That last one was a mistake. I should have let that guy twist in the wind, but that was when I was a new editor and still a nice guy.

Hah.

The one thing I truly hate to do is fire people. A few years back, one unlucky gent tried to run game on me, but unfortunately for him, I myself had already run that game myself when I was a young punk. I gave him his shot to try and talk his way out of it without BSing me, but he didn’t take the opportunity. So I dumped him.

As an editor–and manager–you have to be very careful not to overreact when your people screw up, try to push your boundaries, test your limits and see how much they can get away with. It’s human nature to do all that, and a good editor will let somebody go up to a point because we ALL do it.

The day you, dear reader, find yourself in the editing chair, you have to learn your tolerance for all this stuff and decide what it is that you can’t take. Whatever your hot buttons are, learn them and sharpen your knives. You’re going to need them. (more…)

Egotistical of me to put my own name in the headline, I know, but I’m competing with Robert’s Rules of Order and Strunk & White here, so why not? This is my current top ten of the moment–many of which I’ve been doling out to people who I edit or mentor in the craft. Rest assured, I break at least two of these in this very blog post, but then again, I am not submitting this to an editor for money.

10. For informal writing like advice columns, blogging or CD reviews, write like you talk–unless you talk like an idiot.

9. Never use a word you don’t fully understand. Do you KNOW what “avuncular” means? Or the actual meaning of the word “hopefully”? Look it up first.

8. If you don’t know specifically when it is appropriate to use an apostrophe, DON’T. Spell out “it is” and “there is” instead.

7. If you don’t know the difference between “they’re”, “their”, and “there”, quit writing until you do. You’re making an idiot out of yourself.

6. If you refuse to write “modicum” when “a small amount” will do, GOOD FOR YOU.

5. Never use jargon if you don’t understand the full meaning. What is the difference between an aircraft, an airframe or an air platform? Don’t know? Don’t use it.

4. The Pentagon cannot “say” ANYTHING. Neither can Isreal, Boeing, or the Clinton campaign. A spokesperson for any or all of these entities can say whatever he or she likes.

3. There is no such thing as a life-giving shooting spree, so why write about a “deadly” one?

2. Cut the crap. You don’t need to write “Well, let me tell you..” or “I bet there’s something you didn’t know” when “Let me tell you” and “There’s something you didn’t know” will do. Forget all “will be” and “going to” phrases. Just say what’s about to happen.

1. Read your work out loud before you declare it finished. You’ll discover that draft is NOT finished.

I know there are still people out there who attempt to use Craigslist to find freelance writing jobs. I have my own personal opinions on the value of Craigslist for freelance writing gigs, which boil down to a single word. Patience. If you have it, you will be rewarded. If you don’t, forget it. There is about a one in 20 chance you’ll find something worth your time, and when you DO locate a good gig, it usually pays off. But in order to avoid wasting (even more) time sifting through CL ads, I offer you this helpful interpretation of the terms and verbiage often used in these ads:

• Great exposure = work for free
• Energetic = can work in spite of hangover
• College students, stay at home moms, and people looking to make extra money = people who will work for cheap
• Interns wanted = work for free
• College graduates = can work in spite of hangover for low pay
• Assistant = low pay and do non-writing grunt work
• Customer satisfaction = low pay and non writing grunt work
• Passionate = long hours and weekends
• Enthusiastic = long hours, weekends and holidays
• “Do you love __________” = work for free
• Send us a sample blog post = we will use your work without paying you
• Send us your story ideas = we’re too lazy to do our own brainstorming
• Send us email for job details = we want to send spam to you. Lots.
• Revenue sharing = write for free
• Google Ads = write for free
• New website = no readers, write for insultingly low pay
• Experienced writers wanted = will take no experience for low pay
• Highly experienced writers wanted = will take some experience for low pay
• Startup = no pay
• Non-Profit = long hours and low (or no) pay
• Reviewers wanted = write for free and spend too much time exposed to bad “artists”
• B to B writers wanted = commercial writing experience only
• Writing contest = pay to write
• Compensation DOE = won’t make you an offer, will make you name a price and try to lowball you
• Compensation: Hourly = you can make more somewhere else
• Subject matter expert wanted = internet researcher wanted
• Compensation $9 an hour = clueless noob wanted
• Must have degree = we’re clueless about hiring freelancers
• B.A. in Journalism required = serious news gig OR clueless about hiring freelancers
• Detail oriented = expects too much from one person in too short a time
• Motivated = desperate

Let’s talk about stuff you can’t take back. Like tarting up your writer’s resume to make yourself look a bit more accomplished than you are. Or scaring potential paying clients away by a few ill-advised moves you think are harmless.

I won’t presume to speak for all editors, I’ll just speak for ME. As an editor, especially one who only just recently put out a call for writers, waded through the crap and hired multiple freelancers.

For me, there is a level of inexperience that I feel I can work with if a writer shows promise, or at least a willingness to learn. So at least in MY case, inexperience is not an automatic disqualifier. But what is?

Two things come immediately to mind. The first is when a freelancer comes to me with a resume full of clips designed to make them look like they have a lot of experience. Upon further investigation — about thirty seconds worth — I discover the resume is full of “pay per click” writing and stuff written for free. In fact, the sum total of the resume is this sort of thing.

This is pretty heinous–the mark of a rank amateur with no experience in the business whatsoever. Even so, as wretched as it is, believe it or not I am STILL willing to give this person a chance for another thirty seconds. Sadly for most in this boat, that thirty seconds comes and goes without me doing anything but deleting the resume and the e-mail.

Why? (more…)

A Wired Magazine article posted today explains why you’re having trouble seeing Freelance-Zone.com with Internet Explorer. If you have IE 5.5, 6.0 and 7.0. chances are you have gotten a message saying the site cannot be loaded and “operation aborted.”

Read the full Wired article to learn more, but suffice it to say that this is a damn good reason to switch over to Google Analytics, even if it doesn’t do IP tracking in the name of privacy. Personally, I LIKE the IP tracking option because you can trace trolls and spammers with it, but Google has the clout, so it’s about time we made the switch.

If you have a blog and you are using Sitemeter (the cause of all the trouble), you might consider joining us in the switch to GA. And no, they didn’t pay us to say that. Personally I am still steamed over Google’s judgement errors re: Chinese net censorship, but that’s another article for another day. The tool is still relevant and vital in the work of running a blog successfully, regardless of what I think of their politics.

I have been looking for more and more outrageous ways to sucker people into reading these screeds. While it’s true that there’s plenty of advice to dispense, there’s also a dire lack of (fun) sensationalism in the freelance writing blog community, so I thought I’d up the ante a little bit by injecting a bit of it here.

Today, in pursuit of said eye-grabbing sensationalist fun, I did a Google search on the term “the naked freelancer” just to see what would come up. I wasn’t expecting much, to be honest, but I found several entries that made me laugh. For a start, somebody posted a gig on GetAFreelancer.com with the headline “Naked Nude Porn Picture Detector”. Believe it or not, this person (who would only pay up to $250 for such a thing) was actually looking for a “naked nude porn picture” BLOCKER. Or so the ad says.

Another bout of laughs–on purpose this time–came by way of FreelanceSwitch. Mary Beth Ellis posted a pictorial and essay called Day In The Life Of A Freelancer. Mary Beth exposes the REAL life of an experienced freelancer in this hard-hitting tell-all. Newcomers will be shocked by both the wake-up times AND the images of the kinds of research fulltimers get up to around 2PM. Mary Beth, you’ve outed us ALL. Except mine’s the Heineken, not the Chardonnay. (more…)

I know EXACTLY what you are thinking. What does this UK dancefloor classic have to do with freelance writing? Funny you should ask…Alex Patterson is the mad genius behind The Orb, which releases trippy, quirk-laden music. Patterson never releases his musical projects without collaborating with someone else–I’m not sure why, but there just doesn’t seem to be a solo album in Patterson’s future, ever.

Fans of The Orb know what they are getting, more or less, every time they purchase a new CD. Naturally there are those who feel The Orb’s best days are behind them (after all, they’ve been at this game a long time now) but Patterson still keeps making music and much of it is still very, very good.

What in the WORLD can a freelancer learn from Alex Patterson?

(more…)

Ready for some GREAT advice that runs counter to everything you read on every writing site that tells you not to write for free?

Not only should you write for free, if you run a blog you should HUNT for opportunities to write for no money.

Now you think I am crazy, right? Like I’ve gone off the deep end after constantly re-writing copy for people who drop their plurals?

Not…quite.

Let me introduce you to the concept of guest blogging. Guest bloggers get to pop in on someone else’s blog, throw around a few pearls of wisdom on the topics of the day, and get some nice linkbacks to their blog, resume page or MySpace site. Now you’re starting to see the light, I think.

Guest blogging is a practice that is used by savvy self-promoters to increase visibility and drive more traffic to their own pages. It cuts both ways–you post links promoting the other person’s blog where you guested, and they drive traffic back to you. Your readers and theirs start to cross pollenate.

You generally don’t get any money for this, but the traffic is definitely worth the effort. Let me give you a hint: always try to guest blog on a site that has a bit more clout than your own. This is good for your Google standings and will bring some of those higher profile readers over to you.

Write for free, folks. Don’t listen to those other writing websites that tell you anything different. Just remember to write for free in THE RIGHT WAY.

Top Ten Freelance Writing Blunders in No Particular Order:

10. Failing to get the editor’s actual name for your query. “To whom it may concern” is the mark of a rank noob. Even if you ARE a rank noob, don’t do this. EVER.

9. Failing to spell check all e-mails to potential paying sources. ‘Nuff said.

8. Not reading the instructions. Do the guidelines say NO ATTACHMENTS? What makes you think YOU’RE the exception? Editors HATE people who don’t follow the directions, and they round file accordingly. Me? I don’t even give them a CHANCE. Does that make me a jackass? YES. But I am the one behind the desk.

7.  Talking money up front. DO NOT discuss payment in a QUERY letter. Let the editor tell YOU how much they are willing to pay. To do otherwise sounds presumptuous. If you get all the way through the query stage and have started to write the piece and haven’t heard about payment, THEN find a tactful way to raise the subject.

6. Do not query before breakfast, before coffee or after beer.

5. Failure to follow up. Never send a query and let it disappear into the ether. Always follow up, even if it is just to say you’ve found another market and you are sending a courtesy letter. This will stick out in someone’s mind–courtesy is always appreciated by editors.

4.  Sending unrelated resume items. Editors do NOT care that you were the president of your college cheerleading club or the head of the basket weaving department. If it is relevant to your pitch, include it. If not, dump it.

3. Admitting you have few clips or credits. Why bother to send a query at all? Why not just write a rejection letter to yourself in the name of the publication instead? You’ll save time. If you want to catch the editor’s eye, don’t waste time talking about what you HAVEN’T DONE. Tell them what you CAN do.

2. Sending a query without your contact information. Always include more than an e-mail address. Send the full monty INCLUDING relevant links to your work where possible. Make yourself very easy to find.

1. Being anything but polite, accomodating and willing to bend over backwards a new editor. If they want it in five days, give it to them in three. If they want 100 words, give them EXACTLY 100 words. If they want a sidebar about hot air ballons sailing into the rings of Saturn…you get the idea. Editors expect new freelancers to be willing to go the distance. Oh, and you have to find a way of doing this that does not seem like excessive kissing up, too.

Beware: highly opinionated writing ahead.

Experienced freelance writers already know what kinds of crap passes for “writing-related websites” on the net…over time you’ll find everything; out-and-out scams, hilarious ineptitude, raging egos (that would be me) and brilliant insights. Newcomers to this writing life will learn soon enough. It can be quite frustrating online, especially when you are trying to soak up information on the writing game and learn all you can to get your foot in the door.

New freelancers are often tempted to start writing-related websites. Here’s a little secret that no other writing site that I know of has (so far) shared–many (not all) experienced writers can tell the difference between a noob writing site trying to pass itself off as “one of the pros” and an honest-to-god experienced writer sharing the benefit of his or her experience. We appreciate people who don’t try to pass themselves off as something they are not–newcomers who admit this up front are far more likely to get a good reaction from a weathered ole hack like me. Try to pull the wool over the eyes of someone knows better and you deserve whatever flames you may get.

For those of us in the know, the symptoms are impossible to miss. They stick out like a sore thumb. Scratch that–they stick out like a sore thumb badly infected with gangrene in dire need of being lopped off. Lately I’ve seen my share, and I suppose it’s irked me a bit. More than a bit.

I know some of my friends will ask why I am wasting my time writing this. One of my stated policies is that I don’t spend valuable time railing against “stuff that sucks”, especially when there are so many GOOD sites out there to talk about. In this case I make an exception because I’m not addressing any one site in particular (why bother) and because I just wasted a good deal of time looking through a site I thought held promise. I was disappointed to see that it was just full of crap. It is frustrating to waste valuable time on nonsense, and now I vent my spleen for you. Will it actually HELP you? Read my top five signs of a bad writing site and judge for yourself. (more…)

Before I start this screed, let me confess that I’m as guilty as anyone of using adverbs and adjectives. Usually when I am hyper-caffeinated, I find myself pouring them onto the page at a rate that would make you weep. So I don’t write this to say, “Be like me–I’m just as cool as they come!”. Rather, I write this to remind MYSELF not to do these things, and you too–one day you’ll send some copy my way and we’d both prefer to avoid the unpleasantness which is sure to come if your work is rife with adverbs and other nonsense.

To begin, let’s define adverbs and adjectives. The Capital Community College grammar page is most helpful here–refer to it often. I love the short-and-sweet definition found on that page. Adverbs are words that modify a verb, adjective or another adverb. Adjectives modify nouns and pronouns.

What the page doesn’t say is that in many cases, adverbs and adjectives are STUPID and POINTLESS. Consider that last line, for example. It may be informative to say adverbs are pointless, but STUPID? That’s me getting wordy again. It would be more accurate to say adverbs and adjectives are often needless words.

Clear, concise writing demands brevity. If you feel the need for more descriptive prose, consider this line from James Ellroy’s The Cold Six Thousand;

“He walked. He grabbed at the cell bars. He anchored himself.”

That pretty much says it all, doesn’t it? We don’t need to know what happened next. This line tells us everything. He’s trapped in jail and getting ready for something to happen. Now let’s read this as it would be submitted by some writers you probably know;

“He walked quickly and grabbed at the cell bars. He braced himself nervously.”

The power of the line vanishes. Let’s look at another one.

“Jimmy took a painful blow to the face. He staggered drunkenly down the corridor, arms flailing wildly.”

Now when we cut out all the crap: (more…)