If you talk to businessmen and entrepreneurs today, they are all busy trying to “add value” for their customers. So, in the spirit of helping you get your money’s worth, here is one man’s guide to finding good values in today’s world.

A plain cheeseburger at most restaurants is a “good value.” On the other hand, anything advertised as a “Value Meal” is probably a waste of money.

Merlots and cabernets from Washington state are usually a good value. Pinot noirs from Oregon, meanwhile, have gotten a bit pricey and still don’t come anywhere close to rivaling French burgundy.

Here’s a no-brainer: Your local public radio station is a good value. Meanwhile, any radio station that plays hours of prerecorded schlock interrupted only by long bursts of monster truck rally commercials has little of value to add to our lives.

Books and compact disks are good values. For $14, I can purchase a book that contains the 25 best essays of the past year. Or for about the same amount of money, I can own a recording of Duke Ellington performing live at the 1956 Newport Jazz Festival. Now that’s a good value.

Compared to books and CDs, most video games are a poor value. I’m sure the graphics have gotten better since I last played a video game, but what’s the point of enhancing something that remains a colossal waste of time?

And finally, for my money, a round-trip ticket to Paris is one of the best values on the market today. In comparison, paying 40 cents to drive on I-88 from DeKalb to Aurora is a waste of money. The road is in terrible shape, and then when you get there, you’re still only in Aurora! I suppose it could be worse. You could start in Aurora and end up in DeKalb. Either way, you’re better off forking over the extra money to get to France.

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, a book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 14 topics, including an anthology titled “Cubicle Stories: Life in the Modern Workplace.”

In the past, I’ve occasionally talked about how to get ahead in the workplace. I’ve also talked about the preponderance of clichés and buzzwords in the business world. So you can imagine my feelings of horror when I recently sat in on a meeting and heard people talking about “takeaways” and “deliverables.”

When it comes to buzzwords, I have one simple question: Talk to me in English!

Okay, that wasn’t a question. But can somebody explain to me why people are using the word “takeaway” when what they really mean is that they learned something useful? Or why people use the word “deliverable” when what they are really referring to is a product or a report?

You can talk about takeaways and deliverables if you want, but it would be a whole lot easier on the rest of us if you simply had the words “Recent MBA grad” tattooed on your forehead.

Life used to be so simple. I had an “in” basket and I had an “out” basket. In order to keep up with the times, I relabeled my baskets to say “takeaways” and “deliverables.” But that just seemed to confuse people. I was constantly finding deliverables in my takeaway basket and vice versa. To me, that was the real test. The buzzwords fell short. So I went back to the old in and out. Seems to work fine.

I still use the terms deliverable and takeaway though. “Deliverable” as in “I’d like a pepperoni pizza—and make that deliverable.” And “takeaway” as in “If Dick has three things in his in box and Jane takes away two, can Dick leave early and pick up the pizza on his way home?”

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, a book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 14 topics, including an anthology titled “Cubicle Stories: Life in the Modern Workplace.”

I’m not a big believer in writer’s block. I personally have found that I can always write about SOMETHING…maybe I’m just a loudmouth. But there are times when you feel at a loose end, like you don’t really know what to do next. You’re paralyzed by indecision, worry or some other trouble nagging at you. You know you need to do SOMETHING. Send a query, do a follow up, look for some new ways to earn money from your writing…but you can’t shake that feeling of not being able to start.

Sound familiar?

When I get into that sort of rut, I fall back on one of my oldest rules. “When in doubt, promote yourself.”

That could be as simple as posting a comment on someone else’s blog with a link back to your own (in a non-spammy way, naturally) or as elaborate as dropping a fellow blogger a line to ask about doing a guest blog post. My motivation for this is to spend as much time moving forward as possible, and no time standing still even in times of doubt, worry or indecision.

If you get stuck, just drop what you’re trying to do for a bit and work on some shameless self-promotion. You can always think of a new way to push your personal brand a bit further out into the marketplace, even if it’s just a quick update and tweak of your resume page or an e-mail to a potential client to say “I’m here.”

Do you keep a “to do” list? I do. Don’t ask me why. I used to think I kept a list to help keep me organized. And I suppose that’s true, because making a list does helps me prioritize things. But more important to me was the belief that if I wrote it down, I wouldn’t have to worry about remembering it later. And if I didn’t have to worry about remembering anything, I could run around leading a happy-go-lucky, carefree existence.

But for some reason, it doesn’t seem to work that way. Instead, I walk around like Atlas, but instead of the weight of the world on my shoulders, it’s the weight of my little to-do list.

Every once in a while, I pull the list out and study it. Sometimes I even catch myself moving my lips as I read my list–sort of like saying my own little prayer or penance several times a day. Then I put the list away, confident that everything I need to worry about is there, tucked safely in my pocket.

Unless, of course, I forget to put something on my list. This thought had me so worried for a while that I began writing things down on little scraps of paper and stuffing them in my pocket to be added to the master list at a later date. This, I usually did on Saturday morning, and I always took great pleasure in scratching “consolidate lists” off my to-do list.

But then I realized it was kind of ridiculous to keep a list of things to be added to your list. So now I’m back down to just one list.

Well, sort of. I mean I do have separate lists for work and for home. I also have a third list somewhere of longer-term, personal goals. I’m pretty sure one of my long-term goals was to stop keeping lists. Unfortunately, I don’t know where I put my list of long-term goals. Guess I’d better add “find list of long-term goals” to my to-do list for this week.

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, a book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 15 topics, including an anthology titled Making Waves – Stories About Role Models Who Inspire and Motivate Us.

I was talking with a friend recently who is trying to find “balance” in his life. “Balance” meaning the appropriate mixture of work, family life and other interests while fulfilling his various duties as employee (or in this case employer), spouse, parent, neighbor and citizen.

Finding the right mixture is not an easy task. In older automobiles, they used a thing called a “choke” to adjust the mixture of fuel and oxygen to just the right level. Today, we have fuel injection. But neither makes for a very attractive metaphor. Would you rather choke off a part of yourself trying to find the proper balance, or do you just mainline everything and hope you don’t overdose?

I think when people talk about balance, they are really talking about happiness. And so I referred my friend to the following poem. This is “Happiness” written by Carl Sandburg in 1916.

I asked professors who teach the meaning of life to tell me what is happiness.
And I went to famous executives who boss the work of thousands of men.
They all shook their heads and gave me a smile as though I was trying to fool with them.
And then one Sunday afternoon I wandered out along the Desplaines river.
And I saw a crowd of Hungarians under the trees with their women and children and a keg of beer and an accordion.

I think you could substitute the word “balance” for “happiness” in that poem and it would still work. Either way, Sandburg’s words still hit home some four-score and fourteen years after he wrote them.

When is the last time you danced by the river with your “women and children and a keg of beer and an accordion”? If you haven’t done it — or something similar — lately, your life might be teetering slightly out of balance.

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, a book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 15 topics, including an anthology titled Making Waves – Stories About Role Models Who Inspire and Motivate Us.

Note: This is Part Three in a series of sporadic commentaries on how to get ahead at the office. These tips may not directly apply to your career as a freelancer, but if you have corporate clients, it’s important to understand life on the inside.

In previous posts, I talked about climbing the corporate ladder by attending lots of meetings and by expressing lots of opinions at those meetings. Don’t forget, it doesn’t matter if you express a series of opinions or just the same opinion over and over again. The important thing is to be noticed.

Today, I’d like to talk about a special kind of meeting: the employees’ meeting with management.

The first thing you need to know is that management doesn’t want this meeting any more than you do. They’re only doing it because somebody in HR told them you want more meetings. (If you don’t remember being asked, it was probably one of the questions in that survey you didn’t answer.)

The second thing to remember is that as long as you have to go to an employee meeting, you may as well turn it to your advantage. How do you do that? By asking a question. Sure, your friends will accuse you of sucking up, but you’ll have the last laugh when you get that 2-1/2 percent raise while your friends’ wages are ravaged by inflation.

But you can’t just ask any question. You have to ask an innocuous question–the equivalent of a fastball down the middle. Here are some time-tested questions from past employee meetings:
“What is our biggest challenge?”
And, “What is our biggest opportunity?”
And, my personal favorite, “Should we focus on increasing revenue, cutting costs, or both?”

If you ask a follow-up question, be careful. This is not the time to get testy or trivial. Follow ups like, “Are you calling me a liar?” or “Can I have another donut?” will not further your career. Instead, just ask, “What can employees do to help?” and then take your seat. The most difficult part will be resisting the urge to scream. But you can do it. You’re a professional, and you’re on your way to the top.

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, a book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 15 topics, including an anthology titled “Cubicle Stories: Life in the Modern Workplace.”

Note: This is Part Two in a series of sporadic commentaries on how to get ahead at the office. These tips may not directly apply to your career as a freelancer, but if you have corporate clients, it’s important to understand life on the inside.

Two weeks ago, I talked about working your way up the corporate ladder by attending lots of meetings. The key is to hang around just as meetings are beginning and don’t leave unless someone specifically tells you to.

But getting inside the meeting room isn’t enough. If you really want to get ahead, you’ll have to express “opinions” and “ideas.” New ideas can be pretty scary to some people, so I recommend sticking to opinions.

The first thing to remember is that no matter what topic is being discussed or how little you know about it, it is very important for you to voice your opinion. In the meeting room, it’s quantity, not quality, that counts. It doesn’t even matter if you express a series of opinions or just the same opinion over and over again. The important thing is to be heard — otherwise nobody will ever benefit from your unique experiences and observations.

If possible, try to monopolize the floor during the early part of a meeting. Use a loud voice to keep everyone’s attention, and don’t be shy about talking over others if they try to interrupt you.

If you happen to be at a meeting where somebody actually comes up with an idea, don’t be afraid. Instead, reflect for a moment, then say something like, “I think Jim’s idea might be worth exploring.” Jim will appreciate the support, and you will have taken a step toward establishing yourself as an authority figure.

Finally, as the meeting begins to wind down, it’s time to let other people talk. People like to hear their own voices, so if you let them talk, they’ll leave the meeting with a good feeling. The best part is, you don’t even have to listen. You’ve already given your opinions — and lots of them. So sit back and have another donut. You’ve earned it.

Next time: Part Three on how to get ahead at the office.

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, a book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 15 topics, including an anthology titled “Cubicle Stories: Life in the Modern Workplace.”

This is Part One in a series of sporadic commentaries on how to get ahead at the office. These tips may not directly apply to your career as a freelancer, but if you have corporate clients, it’s important to understand life on the inside.

The most important thing to keep in mind as you attempt to work your way up the corporate ladder is that it is very important to attend as many meetings as possible. Attending meetings serves the dual-purpose of allowing you to network while also preventing you from having to do any actual work. What better excuse for being unable to assist with the latest corporate crisis than to say, “I’d love to help, but I’m tied up in meetings all day.”

So let’s say you want to attend more meetings, but maybe you’re a new employee. How do you work your way in to the inner circle?

One of my favorite strategies has been to be conveniently passing by a conference room with cup of coffee and notepad in hand just as people are beginning to congregate for a meeting. If you happen to know a meeting participant, stop and chat. If you don’t know any of the participants, just walk up to a stranger, introduce yourself and ask, “What’s up?” Nod with interest and prolong the chitchat until the meeting organizer says, “Let’s get started.” The key here is not to leave unless somebody specifically tells you to. If you prefer a more direct approach, look the meeting organizer in the eye and say, loud enough for all to hear, “Do you want me to leave?”

Occasionally, you’ll encounter a seasoned veteran who will stare right back at you and say, “Yes. Get out. Now.” But more often than not, the person will avert your intent, preferably slightly maniacal, gaze and mumble, “No. Why don’t you stay?” They might even apologize for not inviting you in the first place. Next thing you know, you’re drinking free coffee, eating donuts and doodling on your notepad. You’ve taken your first step into the inner circle.

Tune in next week for Part Two of this series and learn how to get noticed once you’re inside the meeting room.

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, an independent book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 15 topics, including an anthology titled “Cubicle Stories: Life in the Modern Workplace.”

One summer, a friend took me hiking up 9,000-foot-high Decker Peak in Idaho’s Sawtooth Mountains. The experience provided me with a strong sense of accomplishment, and the solitude, the view and the cleansing effort it took all combined to make the world seem less complex. At that moment, it seemed that it might, in fact, be possible for us to control our own fates.

When you descend from the Sawtooths, you can follow the stream beds down until they take you to a lake at the base of the mountains, or you can go sidehill around the mountain until you are above the lake, then head straight down. We decided on the latter.

We made good time until we came to some steep, vertical strips of decomposed granite, nature’s equivalent of silicone-coated marbles. Each strip was 20 yards across and stretched from the granite peak above us to as far down the mountain as we could see.

Crossing the strips required constant motion because as soon as you put a foot down, the granite started to slide down the mountain. The only way to avoid going down with it was to keep moving. We went sidehill on loose gravel for the next few hours until we were off the mountain.

I often think about that hike because when you’re a kid, you don’t control your own fate, but you temper that knowledge with the thought that someday, you’re going to grow up and the world will be your oyster. But the older you get, the more you realize most of us are just a bunch of big kids. We do adult things–we work, we make house payments, we pay taxes–but control is an illusory thing. It’s like running sidehill on loose gravel. In the end, people seem much happier when they stop pursuing control and start seeking meaning…because at that point, you begin to establish a foothold on solid ground.

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, an independent book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 15 topics, including an anthology titled “Cubicle Stories: Life in the Modern Workplace.”

I used to work at a company where people were very conscious of job levels. After a big meeting of top company managers, one of my coworkers approached me: “Hey, Mike,” he said. “I didn’t know you were a nine.” Before I could inform him that I was not a nine, he continued in a hushed tone: “A bunch of us nines are getting together after work for pizza and beer tomorrow. Don’t tell any sevens or eights.” Then he hurried off.

I suppose most companies have some internal method of ranking various job classifications. At that particular company, you climbed the ladder from level one to level two to three, on up. It was sort of like Donkey Kong. How high can you get?

I don’t know how far the numbering system went, but reaching level nine held special significance. They didn’t give you a key to the executive washroom or anything like that. (That would have been silly–especially since there was already an armed guard at the washroom entrance and you had to show two picture I.D.s to get in. I showed my library card and prom picture.) But being a level nine did have its advantages. For one thing, it meant you got to go to big meetings of top company managers. You also got an assigned parking space, a slightly larger cubicle and a free annual physical. I think being a nine also meant that you are allowed to use the two-ply toilet paper. And, of course, nines were allowed to punch sevens at will.

I didn’t get a chance to tell my coworker that I was not a nine. I was at the big meeting of top company managers because it was part of my job to report to other employees what happened at such meetings. I was on hand to listen and learn–and to change the light bulb in the slide projector if necessary.

Obviously, my coworker had taken my presence at the big meeting to mean that I, too, had a reserved parking place and an unchafed bum. Apparently, I could have passed myself off as a nine if I had really wanted to. At least nobody tried to hit me at the meeting. But I decided not to push my luck, so I skipped the pizza and beer that night. Besides, I had some fives to beat up.

Mike O’Mary is founding dreamer of Dream of Things, an independent book publisher currently accepting creative nonfiction stories for anthologies on 15 topics, including an anthology titled “Cubicle Stories: Life in the Modern Workplace.”