by Joe Wallace
You know you want to, and everywhere you look there are websites encouraging you to take the plunge and go full-time freelance. Wanna know why I do it? It’s not for the huge paychecks or the accolades, but that DOES help. Instead, here are my top ten reasons why you should drop everything you’re currently doing and go full-time freelance THIS WEEK.
10. You can go from a thankless 60 hour work week to a life of ease and fun. Don’t set the alarm clock, wake up when you feel like it and go to work in your pajamas. But if you do this, make sure the curtains are open so your neighbors can watch you taking it easy. Nothing screams “successful freelancer” than when your next-door buddies come home from a hard day slaving away in the land of the cubicles to see you still in your PJs laughing at some e-mail your favorite editor just sent you.
9. There’s no shortage of work, when you feel like actually writing something. Don’t worry about that 3PM tee time at the golf course, you can bang out that first draft and submit it after your two-hour lunch. The editor’s going to re-write you anyway, why polish?
8. It’s about time you purchased a brand new car, isn’t it? When was the last time you could afford to do THAT? Oh, and don’t forget to pay in cash with the money you made off putting Google Adsense on your resume page.
7. You’ll score big with members of both sexes, and cats will purr at the very sight of you. To make this happens, it’s especially important to cultivate an image of carefree living, even when the last check you were due is 90 days late. Never let them see you sweat, and tell your landlord to go take a flyer—you’ll pay when you’re damn good and ready.
6. Two words. Pizza Buffet. Now you can do it anytime you want, including for breakfast. Since you’ll be waking up around 11:30 or later now, that’s more of a possibility than ever before.
5. When you’re waking up close to noon or beyond, make sure you do all your work in your pajamas with the curtains open. Nothing screams “freelance genius at work!” like the sight of you laughing at some e-mail your favorite editor just sent you while your next door neighbors are dragging their sorry behinds in the front door after a long day slaving away in the land of the cubicles.
4. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING tastes better for breakfast (that’s lunchtime to most regular people) than a vodka and tonic.
3. Your editors will all love you, and your clients always tell you what’s on their minds. Remember how much you hated the boss and his “read my mind” management style? That’s a thing of the past now, and you’ll wonder why you never make the leap before now.
2. Coffee addiction is not as bad as THEY make it out to be. You’re a writer and you NEED that extra java to help you wake up just in time for the 6PM news, which now is easily confused with the 6AM news. Don’t worry, you get used to not knowing what day it is. That’s half the fun.
1. When tax time comes around, you’ll be swimming in IRS refunds. Trust me.